Go Frolic in the catnip Fields and be at peace

Howard was one kick ass cat. I got him From my ex who no longer wanted to keep him for what ever reasons. i fell in love with him while we were dating and told my ex he was not allowed to take Howard to the pound because i will take him. The first few days he just hid under my bed. Wondering if it was safe this new place, with new smells and people. After a few days it was his house. He was a mischievous cat, stealing my keys and hiding them, slippers etc. When Athena came along he taught her all the tricks of the trade, Opening doors, getting out of her crate, innocent yet guilty looks. Howard was my best friend, my cuddle buddy, my confidant and my cat. I miss my boy 15lbs of lovin!

December 15, 2007 one of the hardest nights of my life. I came home to blood and urine everywhere and my big man looking at me like "mom i can't do this anymore." Howard my big cat had re blocked only after a week of being home from unblocking him. I called an e-vet in fremont that we took our dog in the past too. They told me to take my time making my way to the office. So i sat on the ground crying and talking to him in my room. Apologizing for not being able to make him better. i blamed my self. Maybe if i had more money to spend, maybe if i hadn't fed him that food, maybe maybe maybe. But this wasn't about me anymore. It was about my cats quality of life. And as much as i loved him. i couldn't put him through anymore pain. I've had enough bladder infections to know they are very painful, but a urinary blockage? i can not imagine what type of pain he was going through.

I packed Howard up into his crate as well as Athena his partner in crime and best friend and went on my way to the Evet in Fremont. Why Fremont since the San Leandro vet was much closer? I didn't like how they treated me when i took him in when he first blocked and i wanted his passing to be a peaceful and stress free event. On the long journey to the Vet Athena cried the whole time and curled her self around Howard's crate. How could i take her best friend away? After all i think she is more cat then dog sometimes. When they first met he wasn't too found of her, but before long he was talking to her and coming to get me when she was doing something not to his liking. They played like they had known each other forever. They had a bond i hadn't seen between a cat and dog. Maybe because Howard was part dog? He came when he was called, played fetch with his ball and LOVED his belly rubbed. As we pulled into the parking lot. i just sat in the space and cried. People pulled up next to me and knocked on my window asking if i was ok. I told them no, but thank you for the concern and i had a sick cat that i was brining in to be put down. They gave their condolences and went on their way. I gathered up both howard and Athena. And despite her normal out of control self when she was in new places. Athena was extremely calm by my side wanting to be as close to her friend as possible.

I sucked it up long enough to check into the office and wait for the doctor. This sweet lady (i can't remember her name) who i remember from when my old dog lucy was sick came out and we sat and talked about everything he had gone through in the last month. I told her that it was just not fair to put him through anymore pain. She supported me in every way possible. I am truly greatful for her support through this. She took Howard back and put in his iv and brought him back to me to say my final good byes. I let Athena say good bye as well she was sitting next to my legs leaning on me. She gave me a look of udder confusion as to why i'm crying and why her best friend was just laying there. The doctor came back in asking if it was time. I nodded yes. She sat on the ground and administered the meds to send him on his way. With his final breath Howard put his head on my leg and just sighed. At that moment the doctor said " Go frolic in the catnip fields and be at peace." And i lost it. The doctor squeezed my hand and left me to my grieving. I whispered a prayer and told my granma to look after him and that he loved to be petting and have his belly rubbed. I stood up and reached for the door. Before i opened it. i said one last good bye and attempted to walk out. I was stopped not by my own self, but by Athena. she was confused as to why we were leaving her best friend, her partner in crime, her big brother. I told her that it was time for him to go home to my granma. She turned and looked at him walked over and gave him one more kiss. Then she looked at me not with a confused face, but acceptance like she knew Howard had left. I left the office with a weak smile trying to keep the receptionist from crying after she saw Athena's reaction. There was a new client waiting to be seen. All they saw was a girl crying her eyes out walking out with a perfectly health puppy and the look on their face was confusion. I hope that someone explained to them as to why i was crying because i just couldn't. A few weeks later i sent a Thank you card to the clinic with a picture of Howard thanking them for having such compassion during a time where i was falling apart inside from loosing my best friend. To this day Athena will look around if i say his name. Makes me cry every time.

RIP big man Mommie will always miss you so will Athena.

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